And We're Rollin, Rollin, Rollin on the River...

This past week (actually, couple of weeks) have been challenging for me, to say the least. There's no doubt the enemy is at work as God is doing miracles here at CATT. We have such a strong team with so much talent, experience, knowledge, heart and diligence. I am so thankful we've been placed here to do ministry with our great lead team of Lee, Carla, Steve, Linda, and the rest of our incredible core team.

I was told from the very beginning that this adventure would be "the hardest thing I'll ever do"! I believed it, and now I'm experiencing it. I've experienced emotional frustration in just missing home. Missing my friends who know me and love me for ME. Missing my family. Missing the people who love my boys. I've missed the little but important things like all my friends and family who would love to watch Cam play soccer and see the look on his face after he received his award at vacation bible school. I've recently been physically sick with just weird random crap.

Anyway...The only way I can describe this recent struggle is through a picture I've had in my head in the past few days. I wrote the following text in my journal last night. It's rather candid, but a pretty good look into my core.

"God, I hate this cheesy thought in my head about the rope. But I can't find a better way to describe me. The circumference of the rope is bigger than my grasp. But I decide to climb it anyway. I try for way too long just to get two feet off the ground. But when I do, it's rewarding and motivating! I continue to work my way up inch by inch, encouraged by every move closer to the goal. As I glance down, to see the distance I've gained, I realize I still have so much further to go. I'm suddenly tired. Panic sets in. My hands start slipping. In weighing out my options, I'm suddenly encouraged by the fact I'm not too far from the ground. If I just let go, I could easily find my feet to the floor and walk away with minimal bruises or scrapes. After all...it's 'just a rope'. No one has forced me to climb it. I have nothing to prove to anyone... and I HATE climbing rope anyway..."

After a big dose of evaluation this week, I've realized that if I let go of the rope, I'd let go of the one thing I've been begging God for all along. More purpose, being part of something "bigger than myself" and following his calling on my life. God has given me such a deep passion for people far from Him since we've been here. Although I so badly wish my kids were surrounded by the people who love them the most, I want them more importantly to experience God's love and His faithfulness in their (our) obedience to Him...even when it's hard!

I've been soaking in God's word through the Gospels of Matthew and Mark in the past few weeks. I'm being constantly reminded of God's faithfulness to those who had faith in Him. Every miracle is followed by some sentence like "because of your faith, you are healed". Every time God chose not to do a miracle, He follows by saying "Because of your lack of faith".

I love that God has revealed this "faith factor" to me. It encourages me in 2 big ways.

1. I don't have to rely on my own strength! Nor does God ask or even want me to! My job is only to abide in Him!
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it shall be done for you.” John 15:7

2. He is faithful to those who seek Him! We've experienced His incredible blessing through simply trusting in Him! Clinging to those moments are a KEY factor for me!

I'd love it if you'd pray for our church this week. Our official launch is this Sunday, August 24th, at 10:30am! I am so excited to finally "officially" be a church!! I'm stoked about my friends who are coming! And I'm just looking forward to meeting more people as this thing gets going!

Here are a few things that I'll ask personally for you to pray for!
1. A great service on Sunday morning!

2. In the midst of hard work, and focus, that we'd do what we do with JOY! And that people would be moved by the joy we have in serving.

3. People! We still need lots of help! And more people to help spread the word!

4. Against the enemy and all of the ways he tries to throw us off track.

5. Physical strength. This is no doubt one of the enemy's ruthless ploys. I've had crazy headaches in the past few weeks. I NEVER get headaches. Also, Last night on my way home, after a great time with some girlfriends, I got really REALLY sick. When I got home, I felt completely lethargic and could not move. I stayed up all night puking. No, not pregnant. I checked!!! But please pray that I, along with the rest of our team, remain physically strong this week and right on through launch.

6. For the lost. There are sooo many, TOO MANY, people who are far from God in our community. CATT has an incredible, different message from anywhere else in the bible belt! People want to hear it. We want to share it with them! Pray that THOSE people come!

7. Mi Familia. Pray God protects us as we're just busy. Riley has a hearing appointment this week, and a bunch of therapy. I want to do a much better job at spending more time with him working on the things that will help him to develop normally. Also for Cameron. He's such a sponge and is really soaking in and reflecting my behavior lately. I see my anxiety in him, and that just grips me. Thankfully Steve is a freaking ROCK! He's loving every moment here and knows how to keep focussed despite all of the things I get hung up on!!!

All of that to say...there is no doubt in my mind that God is doing something BIG right now!
I am excited about the days, weeks and months ahead. The softball season starts back up tonight! So I'm planing on feeling better today so that I can do well and love that group of people that I've been placed in! Thanks so much for praying and just caring about my family! Also, thanks to everyone who took portions out of their day to meet with Steve when he made his trip out west! He was so blessed to see everyone. We love you all so much!

Back to the grind! Launch update soon to come.