Tuesday, May 25, 2010


In recent weeks I've been, for lack of better terms, alarmed at some of my impulsive behavior. Ha! That sounds awesome!! I'm pretty sure there are things all of us are 'addicted' to, whether we admit to it or not, but when I see YUCK in MY life, I get pretty passionate about fixing it or at least, I like to study the patterns!!

Ugh!! WHY??! Why are there so many things I get caught up in?? To try to make life more important? To feel better about myself? To mask insecurity?! Everytime I think about the things I pour way too much of myself into, I can't get a certain thought out of my head!!

'Is God big enough?!' Heck yeah, He is... Would be my gut reaction. But my behavior often demonstrates otherwise! Do I reeeeeallly believe that GOD, my Creator, the same creator of the universe, is big enough to handle ME?!!! All my junk, baggage, hangups etc..? If I did truly believe that, I have a feeling my life would look a little bit different. Or... A LOT different! I'm not talking about being addicted to anything immoral or that would put me in physical danger. I'm talking about the little, itty bitty tiny things that go totally unnoticed until I realize my attitude towards life changing as a direct result. Social networking has definitely become a weakness of mine! I LOVE writing and talking to people and making friends and reconnecting with old ones, but.. holy COW! Where and how do I draw a stinkin LINE?!!! Probably when everyone else's life happenings start effecting my mood for the day?!?! When 'Johnny' updates his status and tells us his dog got hit by a car today, my kids better be on their best behavior, because their mom is probably gonna be an emotional wreck for most of the day! That's LAAAAAAME! A lame example too, but just making my point!! Sooo not fair to anyone around me! YUCK!

I have lots of friends who have taken 'breaks' or whatever from social networking. I don't think I need to get all crazy and do anything like that, but I do need to be more aware of these behaviors, so that I can see them coming BEFORE my life becomes consumed and effected by them!

I KNOW God is big enough to make ANY change He wants to in my life! I want to seek Him, know Him and LOVE Him enough to not want ANYTHING else beside the things He wants for me! Hmmm... I gotta figure that out!

I just reposted a dorky awesome song I wrote about a year ago, called 'twitter fast'. It just about sums up all of this nonsense!!