My little bro, Landon graduated from high school yesterday. The reality of the REALITY he's about to face is kind of scary to me! Spending the day reminiscing on his past 4 years of high school brought back so many memories from when I was an ignorant high school kid. I remember being sooo anxious to grow up and be able to do things MY WAY... and now when I look back at those years, I realize how well I had it. Not much responsibility, free rent, lot's of time and well...the world was just supposed to revolve around me. Last night at Landon's graduation party, I reminded my mom of the time that I got mad at her, left the house and walked ALL THE WAY down Crest hill with my bat bag that had at least 40lbs worth of equipment in it. My mom and dad both remembered that time. My mom asked if I remembered why I got so upset. I told her that I didn't remember but that they must have done something to REALLY make me mad. She then proceeded to tell me it was all because she asked me to bring the trashcans up from out on the curb. I told her no. She told me she wouldn't take me to softball practice if I didn't. So...instead of walking 30 feet out the front door to get the trashcans, I hoisted on my bat bag, and walked 6 miles down Crest Hill to walk to practice on my own. Little did I know...my dad would be on his way home from work and caught me at the bottom of the hill. I guess he didn't know the situation, because he drove me to practice from there. This is just one of many stories of how stinkin' ignorant I was. I didn't have to do ANYTHING! School was a HUGE social party everyday, and when I'd get home, I could take a nap, hang out with friends, eat, ask my parents for money to go out etc...
Ohhh what I'd do for even a NAP these days!!!
It makes me wonder how many thing's I'm ignorant about right now. In 10 years, will I look back on today and question all the stupid choices I'm making right now? I'd like to think I'm a little more responsible and mature than I was in high school, but then again, back then I thought I had life figured out. Indeed I was kidding myself.
One way that my perspective on life has changed (after a husband and 2 kids) is that I know for a FACT that I don't have life figured out. I question my motives and reasoning everyday. I'm constantly asking God to make me a better person than I am. And I know how important it is to be thankful for everything I have, and to NEVER expect ANYTHING in return for things I've done or even worked for.
I guess the lesson of this reminder to myself could be described in one sentence.
10 years ago I thought the world "OWED ME" big time, and now all I know for sure is that I OWE God (and my parents for that matter) more than EVERYTHING I have.
I've definitely been served with a NICE BIG SLICE of humble pie.
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2 comments:
You have been posting a lot of introspection lately.. and I just wanted to say that I think you are going through a great time of growth! It might not feel too great... but it will be great in the end. :)
Yes I've reflected back on the "easy days" too. Yesterday I was thinking about the summer when I was 8 and after breakfast I would go outside and have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO DO WHATEVER I WANTED!
Of coarse back then and in highschool I would look at the future when I would someday be married and have kids as bliss. I agree with you about not having anything figured out. I wish I could at least live in the NOW.
Anyways good post Lauren.
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