Been at a loss for words lately, and THAT has actually been a good thing. In the past, I've been pretty good at putting a rhyme or reason to everything God does in my life. And for maybe the first time, in this season, I have nothing. I have no explanation as to why God would call us to leave a good job in San Diego, have us uproot our family to serve at an awesome church plant across the country, only to have us come back to San Diego 9 months later...in a time when finding a job is close to impossible, and when the stakes are so high with 2 growing boys watching and learning from our every move. It just doesn't make much sense to me.
I'm so glad to be home with our family and such awesome friends who love us so much. That alone has pulled us through all the trouble it's been to get settled here again.
I've NEVER been one to ask God "Why?". It just seems like a shallow question to ask an All Knowing God. But a little bit, like even a smidge, of clarity would be nice.
So...I've asked. And, still, nothing.
So, I've kind of just decided to STOP trying to make sense of it all and just do it. Go through it. We're clinging to God's word and the fact that it's true. We're making sure our sweet boys know that we love them more than anything in the whole world. We're hunting for jobs like crazy, and aren't being picky about any line of work. In the midst of cruddy times, we won't compromise our character, core values. We're attending the church we love, as it has a huge piece of our heart. We're not avoiding awkward conversations about "what's going on with the Faiai's". We're not broadcasting our story to the world either. We appreciate the prayers that our friends and family pray on our behalf. We're eagerly looking forward to some crazy breakthroughs in the next few weeks.
So, I'm pretty much at the end of today's post, and haven't made much sense of anything. Maybe that's because I'm not supposed to right now. I remember Ed (our teaching pastor) once say something about "if God isn't giving you words to say on His behalf, then He probably doesn't want you to say anything." So instead of ending this post by sharing one of my GIGANTIC spiritual nuggets of wisdom, I'll instead just keep being at a loss for words for a while longer.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Quite a mature post, Lauren. You've come a long way from the young High School girl I used to know : )
I'm proud of you.
T
During these times, that's all we can do...sit back and wait for God to show us the way. I'm confident he'll come through for you and for Jarrad and I. There's always a reason. I continue to pray for you guys and I hope you'll do the same for me. I think the new year is going to bring some good news for the both of us so just keep pushing through and keep loving those boys...I love you!
your nuggets are sexi, and God's pretty hott. He takes care of us... but the three of us have to be patient as we're all sort of waiting for our future to start/continue. jobs and babies are on their way. they have to be, right? something's got to give.... Love you and miss you terribly!
Post a Comment