Anyway... as I woke up to the sound of massive drills cutting concrete outside my window this morning I couldn't help but relate that sound, the uprooting of cracked concrete, to the state my soul has been in the past couple months.
About a month ago, the landscape company removed just about ALL of the beautiful Eucalyptus trees from everywhere in our complex. I couldn't understand why they would cut down such nice trees that provide great shade and privacy for all of the tenants. After questioning it, I quickly reasoned the fact that I believed the people in charge had plans to make this place great! I'm sure they knew how beautiful all the trees were and they wouldn't cut them down unless they had better plans in mind.
There's probably no need for analogy here, but I'll give you one anyway.
God is uprooting and chopping down areas in my life that honestly I didn't think needed chopping. Lately, God has taken a humongous JACK HAMMER to the areas I've felt strong in. I'm constantly questioning God's reasoning behind the "madness" of the Faiai household, when really I need to be trusting that He knows me completely and has even BETTER things to do with my life and my family than the way we're doing life now. That's encouraging to me, but at the same time understanding these concepts in my head doesn't do me any good if they don't give me peace in my heart.
That's where I'm at right now. Pleading to God to MAKE ME BELIEVE IT! I have total peace in knowing that the ugly view out my bedroom window only means that it's going to be gorgeous in due time, but for whatever reason, I have a hard time trusting God (who CREATED me) to give my life the same opportunity.
Maybe this is why it's been so hard. What if the trees roots never gave way to the landscapers tools. What if the concrete was too hard to be broken. What if the exterior stucco was just too terribly coarse to paint a new color over? These circumstances would make it twice as hard for the workers, not to mention how much longer the process would take.
I've reached a dangerous spot where I need to let go. And literally let God take over in the restructuring. If I keep trying to make things work the way I've been working them for so long it's just going to take God twice as long to make me into who he wants me to become.
Next week more brand new sod goes in. Hopefully God's time line for His project in ME includes fresh green grass soon.
2 comments:
He who began this work in you will be faithful to complete it! And you are not alone.
Great post Lauren. I like and resonate with this analogy.
As hard as life can be it's pretty cool we serve a God full of surprises beyond what we even dare imagine. Hold on Lauren I believe he does have great plans for you!
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